1、有的人，做面膜的时候，比真人好看多了。
Some people, when making facial mask, are much more beautiful than real people.
2、女朋友：你看别人家的男朋友，都吃女朋友剩下的饭！我：你TM倒是给我剩啊！
Girlfriend: look at other people's boyfriends, they all eat the rest of their girlfriends! Me: you give me the rest!
3、夏天要是能把我融化成水，流进你口渴的嘴里就好了。
If only summer could melt me into water and flow into your thirsty mouth.
4、你该安心胖下去，瘦是别人的事情。
You should put on weight. It's someone else's business to be thin.
5、天冷了，你穿的再多，心里要是没有我，还是冻死你。
It's cold. No matter how much you wear, if you don't have me in your heart, you will freeze to death.
6、天天看穿越小说，看的马桶都像穿越的洞。
Every day I read through novels, the toilet is like a hole.
7、今天天气不错，心情也不错，美美哒井盖配得我更美啦。
Today's weather is good, mood is also good, meimeida manhole cover is more beautiful for me.
8、能影响我心情的，不是风景，不是天气，不是时间，而是，一个我在乎的人。
What can affect my mood is not the scenery, not the weather, not the time, but the person I care about.
9、酷得像风，野得像狗，没有人管，倒也自由。
Cool as the wind, wild as a dog, no one tube, but also free.
10、对不起，由于服务器的原因，您刚才发的信息丢失，请重发一面。
Sorry, because of the server, the message you just sent is lost. Please resend it.
11、地铁上说请勿携带易燃易爆品，我默默下车了，因为我帅到爆。
The subway said please don't take inflammables and explosives. I got off quietly because I was so handsome.
12、怎么泡男孩子啊，水温多少合适。
How to soak boys? The water temperature is suitable.
13、只是因为在人群中多看了你一眼，我便瞎了眼。
Just because I saw you one more time in the crowd, I was blind.
14、你头发还有很多，可以继续学理科。
You still have a lot of hair. You can continue to study science.
15、我真的不愿意用脚趾头鄙视你。但是，是你逼我这么做的！
I really don't want to look down on you with my toes. But you made me do it!
16、我依稀记得，当初我学会网购是为了省钱。
I vaguely remember that I learned online shopping to save money.
17、给我一个食堂的馒头作为支点，我就能翘起地球。
Give me a steamed bread in the canteen as a fulcrum, and I can lift up the earth.
18、等我有钱了，买两根棒棒糖，一根，你看着我吃，另一根，我吃给你看。
When I have money, I will buy two lollipops, one for you to watch me eat, and the other for you to see.
19、这样的好天气，适合出门，适合与你，携手同行。
Such a fine weather, suitable for going out, suitable for you, hand in hand.
20、贫穷限制了那么多东西，怎么没有限制我的体重？
Poverty limits so many things, how can I not limit my weight?
21、想要所谓的好：就请放下那所谓的面子。
Want the so-called good: please put down the so-called face.
22、我的被子好软好香好舒服，要不要一起盖。
My quilt is so soft, fragrant and comfortable. Would you like to cover it together.
23、最悲催的事情就是，闺蜜喜欢你男友，你男友的哥们喜欢你！
The most sad thing is that your best friend likes your boyfriend, and your boyfriend's friends like you!
24、美的不可方物，骚的不知所云。
Beauty can not be square things, Sao do not know what to say.
25、每天都在撒谎，今晚要早点睡，明天就不爱你。
Lie every day, go to bed early tonight, I will not love you tomorrow.
26、你不应该恋爱，因为你还没有遇见我。
You shouldn't fall in love, because you haven't met me yet.
27、叮咚，你有新的爱意请查收获。
Ding Dong, you have a new love, please check the harvest.
28、遇到喜欢的人，一定要胆大心细脸皮厚。
When you meet someone you like, you must be bold, careful and cheeky.
29、把快乐建在我之上，你以为你就是快乐的吗。
Build happiness on me, do you think you are happy.
30、脸乃身外之物，可要可不要，钱乃必要之物，不得不要。
Face is something outside of the body. You can take it or not. Money is something you have to take.
31、说好一起到白头，你却偷偷h了油！
Agreed to white head together, but you secretly baked oil!
32、你是金子我是煤，你会发光我会发热。别把我惹火了，小心我把你融化了。
You are gold, I am coal, you will shine, I will heat. Don't make me angry, or I'll melt you.
33、真正笑点低的姑娘，就是你冲着她笑几秒，她就会开始冲你傻笑。
The real girl with a low smile is that if you smile at her for a few seconds, she will start to smirk at you.
34、小蜜蜂在花瓣上跳起优美的起舞，并为春姑娘送上最甜的花蜜。
The little bee dances gracefully on the petals and sends the sweetest nectar to the spring girl.
35、当我拥有安全感的时候，我觉得比什么时候都幸福。
When I have a sense of security, I feel happier than ever.
36、拿的起放不下的是筷子，陷进去出不来的是被窝。
It's chopsticks that can't be lifted and put down. It's bedding that can't get in and out.
37、今天天气好晴朗，心情也不赖，美美哒上班啦，又是充实的一天。
Today's weather is fine, sunny, mood is not bad, meimeida to work, it is a full day.
38、你上辈子一定是碳酸饮料吧，所以我一看见你就开心的冒泡。
You must have been a carbonated drink in your last life, so I am happy to bubble when I see you.
39、如果我看起来没精神，可能是累了，可能是病了，但最大的可能是饿了。
If I look listless, maybe I'm tired, maybe I'm sick, but the biggest possibility is that I'm hungry.
40、世界再大，我也只想围着你转。爱说啦
No matter how big the world is, I just want to go around you.
41、出问题先从自己身上找原因，别一便秘就怪地球没引力。
If something goes wrong, find the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity.
42、这姑娘，穿的是真清凉，长的是真败火。
This girl is really cool in her clothes, and she looks like a real loser.
43、胖的原因大概就是，瘦小的身躯，容不下我伟大的人格。
The reason why I'm fat is probably that my small body can't hold my great personality.
44、不会哭的女人是怪物，只会哭的女人是废物。
A woman who can't cry is a monster, a woman who can only cry is a waste.
45、像我这种人才，到哪都吃的开。
People like me can eat everywhere.
46、太在意别人的看法最后会有两种结局：要么自己累死，要么让别人整死。
If you care too much about other people's opinions, there will be two outcomes: either you are tired to death, or let others die.
47、我就是那种别人一对我好点，我就不计前嫌跟你屁颠屁颠跟你走的人。
I'm the kind of person who, when others treat me well, I'll go with you regardless of the past.
48、你的一句明天见，让整个明天都变得超级甜。
See you tomorrow, let the whole tomorrow become super sweet.
49、成绩就像滑滑梯，爬上去很难，滑下来不过一瞬间。
Grades are like slides. It's hard to climb up, but it's only a moment to slide down.
50、亲爱的，你可得一定要相信我啊，我连坐船都头晕，更何况是脚踏两只船呢。
Honey, you must believe me. I'm dizzy even when I'm on a boat, not to mention stepping on two boats.
