1、别跟我谈感情，谈感情伤钱。
Don't talk to me about feelings. Talking about feelings hurts money.
2、你说是天冷了，我说是心凉了。
You said it was cold, I said it was cold heart.
3、网课我真的听不进去，网恋我可以试试。
I really can't listen to the online class. I can try online love.
4、保持青春的秘诀，是有一颗不安分的心。
The secret of youth is to have a restless heart.
5、爱就一个字，我没做一次！
Love is just a word, I didn't do it once!
6、我害怕受伤害，我把自己包裹起来。
I was afraid of being hurt. I wrapped myself up.
7、有情人的过情人节，有敌人的过狄仁杰。
Valentine's day for lovers, and di Renjie for enemies.
8、你若使用美人儿计，我就将计就计。
If you use the beauty trick, I will.
9、人生像打电话，不是你先挂就是我先挂。
Life is like a phone call, either you hang up or I hang up first.
10、人有三千烦恼丝，我只有一千五。
People have three thousand worries, I only have fifteen.
11、钱不是问题，问题是没钱！
Money is not a problem, the problem is no money!
12、掉头发的时候感觉自己是一株蒲公英。
I feel like a dandelion when I lose my hair.
13、我有一颗早起的心，可我的被窝不同意。
I have a heart to get up early, but my bed doesn't agree.
14、相爱没有那么容易，每个人有他的鼻涕。
Love is not so easy, everyone has his nose.
15、这天真的是太热了，想找个人冷战几天。
It's too hot this day. I want to find someone to cold war for a few days.
16、两耳不闻窗外事，一心只读电子书。
Two ears do not listen to the outside of the window, read-only e-books.
17、跌倒了站起来，换个好看的姿势再倒下。
Fall down, stand up, change a good posture and then fall.
18、他人笑我穿得厚，我笑他人冻得透。
Others laugh at my thick clothes, I laugh at others frozen through.
19、想跟你在一起，把蠢传给你。
I want to be with you and pass the fool on to you.
20、别和我谈恋爱，虚伪，有本事咱俩结婚。
Don't fall in love with me, hypocrisy, we can get married.
21、累么？累就对了，舒服是留给死人的。
Tired? Tired on the right, comfortable is for the dead.
22、生活不止当下的苟且，还有前任的请帖。
Life is not only about the present, but also about the invitation from my Ex.
23、你有什么资格说我胖，你请我吃过什么。
What qualifications do you have to say I am fat? What did you treat me to eat.
24、别人的钱财乃我的身外之物。
Other people's money is my property.
25、是金子总会发光，要不然就会游泳。
Gold always glows, otherwise it can swim.
26、我的心是墓穴，怕死的都当不了主角。
My heart is a tomb. Those who are afraid of death can't be the protagonist.
27、青楼满座，是因为人心寂寞。
Brothels are full of people, because people are lonely.
28、待你长发及腰，送你一把剪刀。
When you have long hair and waist, I will give you a pair of scissors.
29、不要叫我宅女，请叫我居里夫人！
Don't call me housemaid, please call me Madame Curie!
30、要在江湖混，最好是光棍！
If you want to live in the world, you'd better be a bachelor!
31、我有辣条和酒，就问你跟不跟我走。
If I have spicy bars and wine, please follow me.
32、自从放了暑假，我就把早餐给戒了。
I've given up breakfast since summer vacation.
33、脑袋空不要紧，关键是不进水。
It doesn't matter if the head is empty, the key is not to water.
34、不能自拔的，除了牙齿，还有爱情。
Can not extricate themselves, in addition to teeth, there is love.
35、新生开学典礼，净是讲废话。
Freshmen's opening ceremony is nothing but nonsense.
36、那小子，敢不喜欢我，纯属找抽型的。
That boy, dare to like me or not, is just looking for smoke type.
37、对星期一各种讨厌，对星期五各种怀念。
All kinds of dislike for Monday, all kinds of nostalgia for Friday.
38、黄瓜在于拍，人生在于嗨。
Cucumber lies in shooting, life lies in hi.
39、你若安好，我便备胎到老。
If you're OK, I'll spare the tire till I'm old.
40、有钱就败家，没钱就拜神。爱说啦
If you have money, you will lose your family; if you have no money, you will worship God.
41、我喜欢的人，都在硬盘里。
The people I like are all on the hard disk.
42、我自横刀向天笑，笑完之后去睡觉！
I smile to the sky from the horizontal knife, and go to bed after laughing!
43、格式化自己，只为删除你。
Format yourself just to delete you.
44、男子无才便是德，那我一定是太缺德了。
A man without talent is virtue. I must be too immoral.
45、打你就打你，还要挑日子吗？
I'll beat you if I hit you. Do you still have to choose a date?
46、您复杂的五官，掩饰不了您朴素的智商。
Your complex facial features can not hide your simple intelligence.
47、作弊不要慌，逮着就要装。
Don't panic when cheating. If you catch it, you have to pretend.
48、我练过气功，可以把人气死。
I have practiced Qigong, which can make people angry.
49、你快回来，我一人忽悠不来！
Come back quickly, I can't come alone!
50、睡前一定要去夜宵，这样才不会做饿梦。
Be sure to go to supper before going to bed, so as not to dream of hunger.
51、咸鱼翻身，还是咸鱼。
